Did You Say Knitting Needles!?!
by Goddess Heather
Summary: Third installment of Knitting Pretty


Did You Say Knitting Needles!?!  
  
Subtitled: Wait, What Was That About Doom?  
  
Summary: I did the Undergarments of Evil challenege. I had no idea that this kinda stuff could come out of my brain.  
  
Series name: Knitting Pretty  
  
Sub-seriesed(is that a word? Shruggs Oh well is now.): The Knit Wit Stories  
  
Notes this is the challenge I accepted:  
  
* An Undergarment of Evil:  
  
Socks, underpants, jock strap, bra, or whatever.  
  
* 1 or more strangers with unknown motives.  
  
* Spike *always* being polite/courteous to one person for some reason.  
  
* Fashion crimes.  
  
* A seriously bad hair day.  
  
* Spike rescuing Xander from his (Xander's) clothing.  
  
* A Spike/Xander romance (of course!) Must have the lines (don't have to be exact):  
  
* "Oi!" (Spike indicates himself) "NOT a minion!"  
  
* "My god, I though Angel was obsessed with his hair!"  
  
* "Where do you shop? Fashion Rejects R Us?"  
  
"That's different." "Good different or bad different?" "Like seeing Cordelia go punk different."  
  
* "JELLO?!"  
  
the bold are all the things I actually got in there.  
  
Notes 2: I know there's a lot of missing time, I might go back and write some of the missing snippets later. It all depends on feedback and plotbunnies and whether I get that job or not.  
  
  
  
"Can you really knit socks?" Asked Spike in a curious tone.  
  
"Oh, um, yes, socks are a lot harder then sweaters or anything else for that matter, but yes I could." Spike nodded in respect. Over the past few weeks Spike had come to respect Xander more and more. He started to realize how hard Xander worked only to go out and fight evil sometimes getting only two or three hours of sleep to just get up and do it all over again. He had also come to realize that the boy-no man's snarky comments were a result of trying to direct attention away from himself.  
  
Spike and Xander often spent the evenings together with Xander patiently teaching Spike how to knit. Spike had to admire that, he knew that he had the attention span of a three year old and that when Angelus had tried to teach him anything he would get angry and frustrated that Spike wasn't learning.  
  
Spike and Xander were talking about various knitting methods and information while waiting for the bus, never really registering who was behind them. Of course this was Sunnydale they weren't completely oblivious to the presence, just who it was. If they hadn't been more into the conversation maybe they would have noticed that the figure was not just an average bus patron, but in fact was Ethan Ryne.  
  
"Oi Xander I'm telling you that if you finished with a quarter stitch instead of a half that it would be a neater joining."  
  
"You may be right Spike. I ju-,"  
  
"I'm sorry to interrupt young man I couldn't help but overhear your conversation and well I wanted to give you something." She held out a pair of knitting needles. "I can't knit anymore, the arthritis in my hands is too much, but I didn't want to throw the needles away, they've been in my family for years and not one of my children are instructed in learning the craft, I heard your conversation and knew that you young men would put these to good use." Xander and Spike look dubiously at the knitting needles. "Their suppose to bring good luck to the person that uses them." The woman said, almost to prod them into taking them.  
  
"Spike what do you think?" Xander turned to Spike.  
  
"I think it's up to you," Xander reached out and accepted the needles, "I mean they are only knitting needles."  
  
Xander stared at Spike in shock, "Now you've gone and done it! The blasted things are probably cursed!" They both looked stimulously at the old woman who suddenly straightened up and shimmered until Ethan Ryne, which was hard to tell at first because of his seriously bad hair day, was revealed. He smiled wickedly at them before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.  
  
"This does not bode well," Spike stated.  
  
Xander looked Spike straight in the eye, "Well duh."  
  
777777777777777  
  
DING DONG "I'm coming!" Giles called out, it was too early for Buffy to be back from patrol, unless there was a new demon. Giles hurried a little faster to the door, mentally already running through the books he would have to consult. Giles opened the door to reveal a sopping wet and bedraggled pair: Spike and Xander. "Good Lord is it raining out?"  
  
"No Rupes, we accidentally fell in the sewer," Spike said in a tone that dripped distane.  
  
"There's no reason to be rude, Spike, but then again a civil conversation would almost be to much to ask."  
  
"Actually Giles we really did fall into the sewer, I swear that pot hole cover was there and then suddenly it wasn't. I really need a shower." Xander scrunched up his nose in disgust at the smells emanating from him.  
  
"Xander," Spike's tone was almost whining, "I have a sensitive vampire nose and it can't take these smells for much longer!"  
  
You could almost see the mischief twinkle in Xander's eyes, in fact Spike's eyes narrowed slightly as he spotted that glint that often meant trouble to Spike's pride come into Xander's eyes. "We'll just have to share." Xander could almost swear he was leering, but that's not really possible, that man is a vampire, a MAN vampire!  
  
Giles removed his glasses quickly polished them and replaced them on his face. "No shagging in the shower please." Giles caught the wicked gleam in Spike's eyes and promptly added, "and anywhere else for that matter."  
  
When Spike and Xander came out of the shower ten minutes later there were clothes laid out for both of them. They had managed a quick shower as neither had dared look at the other, quite a feat in Xander's opinon with a wet naked Spike but a foot away, it was hard not to peak, but he did it if only for preservations of self denial.  
  
When they came down Giles had tea made, Xander had never liked tea and had never hesitated to turn it down before, but inlue of what they were fixing to tell Giles he took it. "Giles, Ethan Ryne is in town, Spike and I ran into him on the bus."  
  
"The city bus?"  
  
"No it was a school bus, yes the bleedin' city bus are you completely daft watcher?" Spike asked with scorn.  
  
"If you would just shut up I would be ever so grateful." Giles stared intently at the vampire, Spike seemed to actually be cowed, something was off. He turned and looked over his shoulder and saw Xander nodding in agreement. This was unexpected. The crack about sex earlier was just a joke, but if Spike was listening to Xander then more was going on than meets the eye. He could feel a headache coming on. He was too bloody old to be dealing with this shit.  
  
"What happened, obviously something happened or you would've just called me but instead you came here."  
  
"He gave me a pair of knitting needles."  
  
"Knitting needles?" Giles spoke with a disbelieving tone. "Why would you take anything from him in the first place?"  
  
"Well, he was glamored as an old woman, mate, couldn't really tell it was him could we?"  
  
"So why would you accept a pair of knitting needles from an old woman?" Giles was growing frustrated it was obvious that they were hiding something from him.  
  
"She gave a very convincing story about them being in the family for a long time and none of her children wanting them."  
  
"But didn't you wonder about why she would give them to you?"  
  
"Okay, fine, I knit okay! My grandmother taught me when I was little and so I knit."  
  
"But how did she, I mean Ethane, I mean, oh you know who I mean know that you knitted? I didn't even know you knitted." Giles could feel his headache growing into a full-blown migraine, and the rest of the gang hadn't even shown up, he shuddered to think what would happen then, an aneurysm?  
  
"I was talking to Spike, Spike found I knitted and was asking me questions about it. Why the Blonde Menace hasn't told you guys yet is beyond me. Maybe he's waiting for the right moment for maxim impact." Xander shrugged. He gave a furtive glance at Spike. Jeez I don't think I've ever seen that expression on his face before.  
  
Spike was in shock; the whelp hadn't given him up. There was no reason for him not say anything. Spike wasn't used to people doing things for him for no reason. People would do things because they expected something in return, but Xander had kept mum about him learning how to knit just because he said he would.  
  
"Well let's see these knitting needles." Xander handed them over.  
  
"Oh my God."  
  
777777777777777777777  
  
"Knitting needles? Wait did you say doom?" Buffy asked confused.  
  
"Yes Buffy Knitting Needles of Doom (Doom, Doom, doom) ." Giles said with a sigh.  
  
"What I think Buffy is having a problem with is why would someone make evil knitting needles?" Asked Riley, Buffy petted her boyfriend for the good job he did. Spike snorted, she'd probably give him a bone later for doing a good trick for mommy.  
  
"Well, it was a fluke." Both Willow and Xander flinched. "There was this evil sorcer and well he did evil things. He eventually turned to the side of good, but he still had evil thoughts, he decided as a way to help work through these evil feelings he knitted."  
  
"Knitted?"  
  
"Yes Buffy we are taking about knitting. Anyway it worked all his negative energy drained off."  
  
"But" Xander said.  
  
"But," Giles glared at Xander, "just not in the expected way, the energy was absorbed by the needles."  
  
"So what these puppies are gonna bring me bad luck?" Xander indicated the needles.  
  
"I wouldn't have put it that way, but yes."  
  
"Giles it woulda taken you five minutes because of all the waffling you do."  
  
"Waffling?' asked Buffy.  
  
"EVERYBODY GET DOWN!" Angel came in shouting at the top of his lungs. The well-trained instincts of the Scooby gang kicked in and everybody hugged the floor. Everybody also waited for the boom.  
  
Five minutes later Buffy jumped up, "What's the big idea nothing happened." Buffy was feeling very frustrated at everyone for explaining things in such big words.  
  
She looked around noting, Willow and Tara on the couch, Giles sipping tea, Xander and Spike weren't there, Angel leaning against the door, Cordelia, Wesley and some black guy next to hi-"Angel!" Cordelia rolled her eyes at Buffy's slow reaction.  
  
"So what's going on? Where's the big evil?"  
  
"It's the Knitting Needles of-"  
  
"Yes, we already went over that, what I want to know is what the shouting down was about."  
  
Angel squirmed under Buffy's glare. "Cordelia had a vision of Xander getting decapitated."  
  
Buffy looked around waiting for something. "So where's Xander why isn't he screaming and running for cover?"  
  
"JELLO!" Xander came running in screaming and dived behind the couch, closely followed by Spike. The entire group stared at them.  
  
Gunn finally voiced what they were all thinking. "What kinda crack are you on?"  
  
Xander stuck a head up and over the couch, like he was peeking to make sure the wicked jello hadn't followed him. "We're not barmy! The effin' jello just jumped out and tried to attack us! It's just not natural I say! How long had that be in there anyway?" Spike said popping up after Xander.  
  
"Not long enough for it to become intelligent enough to attack you, I assure."  
  
"Well, your frig is possessed then Giles!"  
  
"It could be the Knitting Needles of Doom (Doom, Doom, doom)." Giles looked around perplexed, "Where is that echo coming from?"  
  
"Well, we're gonna hafta figure out a way to drain off the evil energy before this bad luck thing kills me!" Xander stared at everyone, no one met his eyes, obviously none of them had any ideas. Well, this was just dandy, unless-"hey guys, what if we, ya burned the energy off, constructively?"  
  
"That's stupid. Unless you knitted with them, if it was knitted in then it can be knitted out." Stated a beaming Buffy.  
  
"Excellent idea Buffy! You can do that right Xander?" Giles asked.  
  
"Yes, bu-"  
  
"Wonderful!"  
  
"But where would the energy go?" Xander all but muttered to himself as Giles herded them out the door. Angel insisted that he stay with Xander incase something happened.  
  
777777777777777  
  
Xander had immediately begun work knitting the evil out of the Knitting Needles of Doom (Doom, Doom, doom). He barely noticed that he was suppose to be cursed. It seemed like just his usual luck. Unfortcantly when a billboard fell and almost hit him and Anya, Anya had decided to high-tail it outta their relationship. Said that it was too hazardous to her health.  
  
He first thing that Xander knitted with the needles were socks. He gave them to Buffy. Frankly Xander knitted up a storm. He showed Spike all that he knew and Spike while being ADD wasn't stupid, Oi! NOT a minion! learned rather quickly. The Scoobies figured that soon the needles would be out of juice, Spike would almost miss it. He and Xander had been spending a lot of time together with Xander's knitting and all, and well, Spike admitted to himself that he enjoyed Xander's company. He came in for their last knitting lesson to discover Xander being strangled by a sweater. In fact a whole bunch of clothes were suddenly animated and attacking. It looked a lot like a scene from Bedknobs and Broomsticks gone bad. Spike pulled out his cell phone and hit speed dial for Giles. "Get over to Xander's place now! Evil undergarments are attacking!" Shouted Spike into the phone as he fought off several pairs of socks that were trying to gag him.  
  
When the Scoobies arrived at Xander's place, they were met with the rather bizarre sight of Spike pulling clothes off Xander. The evidence of their struggles were apparent, knitted and torn clothes were everywhere. They watched in fascination as Xander pulled Spike into a kiss. Xander proceeded to pull Spike into his bedroom and slam the door shut.  
  
"Well that was different," stated Giles.  
  
"Good different or bad different?" asked Willow.  
  
"Like seeing Cordelia go punk different." 


End file.
